Ten Tips to increase Love Between the Spouses

02/04/2009| IslamWeb

Everyone wants to increase the amount of capital in the bank and searches for the means to increase his wealth. Similarly, everyone wishes to increase the affection and love he shares with his wife, so he should search for suitable means to increase the amount of love and faithfulness between them. We will mention some of them:

1-    Exchanging gifts, even if they are symbolic. Putting a rose on her pillow before sleeping has a wonderful effect. A tiny colored card with beautiful words written on it is effective. When the man pays the cost of the gift, he is more than repaid when he sees his wife's shining face, gentle smile, praising of his good choice, mercy and pleasure in the house. The wife should also be keen on offering her husband presents.

2-    Determining a time to sit together and listen attentively and eagerly to each other. Some scholars who explained the Hadeeth of Umm Zar‘ wondered at how the Prophet, , listened to the long speech of ‘Aa’ishah, may Allah be pleased with her, when she narrated this long story.

3-    Glances which are filled with love and admiration. Feelings between the spouses cannot be exchanged through fulfilling formal obligations or through exchanging words of love only. Rather, many of them can be exchanged through non-verbal signs such as facial expressions, tone of voice and the glances of the eyes. All these are means of emotional and psychological satisfaction. Will spouses then learn the language of the eyes? Will spouses learn the art of using their tone of voice and facial expressions? The language of the eyes has a power to charm the hearts! 

4-    Passionate greeting and farewell when entering and leaving, traveling and returning, and via the telephone.

5-    Praising the wife, making her feel his moderate protective jealousy for her and not holding her in comparison with another.

6-    Participating with her in matters, such as planning the future, tidying the collection of books, helping in cooking, arranging for matters related to the children, writing down the needs of the home and other tasks which would be a cause for kind treatment, laughter and building affection.

7-    Good words and emotional expressions with soft, warm words; such as, informing her of his love and that she is one of the bestowed favors of Allah The Almighty upon him.

8-    Calm times spent together and allocating a time for dialogue and talking that is interposed with some fun and laughter away from the problems, children and their crying and quarreling. This has a great effect on the intimacy and love between the spouses.

9-    Maintaining a balance between giving in and giving up. This is an important means that one should not extremely give in or altogether give up his friend. Any tense inclination toward affection and loving excessively are forbidden. Giving up requires some wit and intelligence; there should be neither excess nor negligence. Excess in either of the two approaches results in the end of longing and love which may lead to several problems in marital life.

10- Interaction between the spouses, especially in times of crises, for example, when the wife becomes ill or becomes pregnant, and consequently she needs physical and emotional care, or the husband becomes annoyed for some reason and needs moral support and someone to stand by him. Feeling pain because of the other’s pain has the greatest effect in building affection between the spouses and bringing them closer to each other and more loving.