Understanding the responsibility towards children

07/03/2013| IslamWeb

Undoubtedly children are a source of great joy and delight; they make life sweet, bring more provision into a family's life and give hope. A mother sees her children as a source of hope, consolation and joy in life, and as hope for the future. All of these hopes rest on the good upbringing of the children and giving them a sound preparation for life, so that they will become active and constructive elements in society, a source of goodness for their parents, community and society as a whole. However, if their education and upbringing are neglected, they will become bad characters, a burden on their family, community and society as a whole.

The vital responsibility towards children

The Muslim woman never forgets that the mother's responsibility in bringing up the children and forming their characters is greater than that of the father, because children tend to be closer to their mother and spend more time with her; she knows all about their behavioral, emotional and intellectual development during their childhood and the difficult years of adolescence.

Hence the woman who understands the teachings of Islam and her own educational role in life, knows her complete responsibility for the upbringing of her children, as is referred to in the Quran in the verse (which means): ‘‘O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones . . .’’[Quran 66:6]

The Prophet also referred to this responsibility saying: "Each of you is a guardian and each of you is responsible for those under his guardianship […] a woman is the shepherd in the house of her husband and is responsible for those under her guardianship …"[Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Islam places responsibility on the shoulders of every individual; not one person is left out. Parents - especially mothers - are made responsible for providing their children with a solid upbringing and sound Islamic education, based on the noble characteristics that the Prophet was sent to complete and spread among people.

Every family should heed the following words of the Prophet :"Instruct your children to pray when they are seven and hit them if they do not do so when they are ten."[Ahmad & Abu Daawood]

Any parents who are aware of this Hadeeth but do not teach their children to pray when they reach seven or hit them if they do not do so when they reach ten, are parents who are sinners and failing in their duty; they will be responsible before Allah for their failure.

The family home is a microcosm of society in which the children's mentality, intellect, attitudes and inclinations are formed when they are still very small and are ready to receive sound words of guidance. Hence the parents' important role in forming the minds of their children and directing them towards truth and good deeds is quite clear.

Muslim women have always understood their responsibility in raising their children, and they have a brilliant record in producing and influencing great men, and instilling noble values in their hearts. There is no greater proof of that than the fact that intelligent and brilliant women have produced more noble sons than have intelligent and brilliant men.

Az-Zubayr ibn Al-`Awwaam, may Allah be pleased with him, was indebted for his greatness to his mother Safiyyah bint `Abdul-Muttalib, may Allah be pleased with her, who instilled in him his good qualities and distinguished nature. `Abdullaah Al-Mundhir and `Urwah, the sons of Al-Zubayr, may Allah be pleased with them, were the products of the values instilled in them by their mother, Asmaa' bint Abu Bakr, may Allah be pleased with her, and each of them made their mark in history and attained a high status.

`Ali ibn Abu Taalib, may Allah be pleased with him, received wisdom, virtue and good character from his distinguished mother, Faatimah bint Asad.

Mu`aawiyah ibn Abi Sufyan, may Allah be pleased with him, inherited his strength of character and intelligence from his mother, Hind bint `Utbah, not from his father Abu Sufyaan. When he was a baby, she noticed that he had intelligent and clever features. Someone said to her, "If he lives, he will become the leader of his people." She responded, "May he not live if he is to become the leader of his people alone!"

History records the names of two great men of Banu Umayyah, one of whom took the path of justice, goodness, piety and righteousness; namely `Umar ibn `Abd Al-`Azeez, may Allah be pleased with him, the fifth of the Khulafaa' Al-Raashidoon, whose mother was Umm `Aasim bint `Aasim ibn `Umar ibn Al-Khattab, who was the most noble in character of the women of her time. Her mother was the righteous worshipper of Allah whom `Aasim saw was honest and truthful, and clearly following the right path, when she refused to add water to the milk as her mother told her to, because she knew that Allah could see her.

During the `Abbaasid period there were two great women who planted the seeds of ambition, distinction and ascendancy in their sons. The first was the mother of Ja`far ibn Yahya who was the minister of the CaliphHaaroon Ar-Rasheed . The second was the mother of Shaafi`ee ; he never saw his father who died while he was still a baby, and it was his mother who took care of his education.

There are many such examples of brilliant women in our history, women who instilled in their sons nobility of character and the seeds of greatness, and who stood behind them in everything they achieved of power and status.