Mothers, Past and Present

Mothers, Past and Present

The mother plays an extremely important role in raising the children during the first years of their life as she remains at home more than the father, and her emotions towards the child are stronger than the father's. Hence, she is dearer to the child than him. Allah The Exalted has provided the mother with a special compassion that is recognized in her feelings of motherhood. This natural motive is the strongest of all motives. Hence, the mother is prepared to take care of the child and happily sacrifice her comfort and sleep for his sake.

This compassion enables the mother to stay awake for the sake of her child’s comfort, especially during his first two years. These two years have a considerable effect on the individual’s personality. During this stage, the newborn knows his mother through her smell and then becomes acquainted with her voice. Moreover, the mother's language is the first language that the child imitates and most of his emotions during the first year are related to and concentrated on the mother or anyone who replaces her. When we know that the newborn starts the stage of childhood from the sixth month, and we should not neglect the role of the mother in bearing the trust and fulfilling the duty of responsibility and direction. Allah The Exalted clarifies this meaning in the verse where He Says (what means): {And the good land - its vegetation emerges by permission of its Lord; but that which is bad - nothing emerges except sparsely, with difficulty. Thus do We diversify the signs for a people who are grateful.} [Quran 7:58]

The mother’s responsibility towards her child is not only equal to that of the father, but is even more important and more significant than his responsibility because the mother accompanies her child from his birth until he grows up to be a responsible person. The Messenger of Allah,  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allah exalt his mention ), entrusted the mother alone with this responsibility when he said: “The mother is a caretaker in her husband's house and is responsible for those who are in her charge.” This statement aims at making her feel that she has to cooperate with the father in preparing the coming generation and bringing up the children. If the mother falls short in fulfilling the educational obligation that she owes her children by being busy with her acquaintances, friends and guests, going to markets and working for no dire need, and she entrusts her children to a nursemaid and neglects her duty towards them, there is no doubt that the children will grow up like orphans, live like the homeless and will be, in addition to this, a cause for corruption and a criminal tool against the whole Ummah (Muslim nation). What else should we expect of children who have such negligent and reckless mothers? We should certainly expect nothing from them but deviation and criminality because their mothers are too busy to look after them and raise them. The situation becomes worse when the parents spend most of their time indulged in their personal desires and in worldly pleasures, wandering in the way of moral disintegration and lewdness. In this case, there is no doubt that the child’s deviation will be deeper and more dangerous and the degree of his criminality will be greater. 
 
Therefore, let us look critically and with enlightened minds, which seek only to find the truth, at the mother of the past and the present, and let us follow the results of this comparison.
 
In the past, the mother was everything in her home. She was the mentor and the housekeeper. She was working and learning, as knowledge without working is neither set firm in the mind nor accepted by it. Despite her sometimes limited knowledge and understanding of religious matters, she would exert her utmost to offer her children a satisfactory Islamic upbringing. She would teach her children the concept of responsibility through fulfilling her own responsibilities in her home, in obeying her husband and in bringing them up. Through giving them their due rights of care and protection, she would teach them the obligations they had to fulfill. She would embrace them, breastfeed them, spend the night awake when they were ill and serve them. All these things had a considerable effect on the children's souls for it planted dutifulness, kindness, obedience and respect in them. Hence, they would listen to her when she directed them, obey her when she commanded them and help her when she was unable to do anything.
 
Today, on the other hand, the mother, and I do not mean here the mother who brings up her children on the teachings of the sound religion and on morals and values, is no longer responsible for the affairs of the house, which includes bringing up the children. She has entrusted them to the imported mother (the nursemaid) who replaces the true mother in arranging the children's affairs including the washing, clothing, feeding, playing with them and feeding them formula milk, which affects the children’s physical and psychological growth negatively. Moreover, the nursemaid is the one who provides them with artificial compassion and kindness and teaches them her religion and morals as well as the values upon which she was raised. Hence, if she is an easterner, then the children will adopt morals of the east and vice versa. Accordingly, the children’s creed of Walaa’ and Baraa’ (allegiance and disassociation) will depend on the kind of upbringing that they receive and their respect, esteem, kindness and obedience will be directed towards the nursemaid.
 
Could the nursemaid really replace the mother? Could she teach our children the religion of true monotheism and the morals of our righteous predecessors? Could she remain awake to comfort the children like their true mother? Could she be patient with them and protect them like their true mother? Is her love for them like that of their true mother? Is breastfeeding that easily replaceable with bottle-feeding? These questions need answers and if we answer them truthfully, we will realize the difference between the true mother and the imported mother.
 
When the mother neglects her main role and takes it lightly, this will certainly lead to evil consequences. When she is old, for instance, she will end up in a nursing home. Just as she failed to bring up her children, they would reward her in the same way and entrust her to the state to take care of her. The residents of a nursing home are the best examples of undutifulness towards parents. Whoever wants to be sure of this can visit one of these nursing homes. Undutifulness is usually manifested even before the advent of the mother’s old age in disobeying and disrespecting her as well as neglecting her words, because she did not teach them when they were young to listen to her instructions, and to respect and obey her. Moreover, those children would neither serve nor be of benefit to their country or the community where they live because they were not taught how to respect and defend their religion or how to protect their country and property.
 
The son who is undutiful towards his parents could easily betray his country and destroy his community. Added to this, the children deviate from the religion and from the right path by committing apparent and hidden sins such as taking intoxicants and drug addiction, committing crimes and adultery, which are all the natural results of neglecting the children’s upbringing. Should we not realize what is happening around us? Should not the mother realize her true role? Should she not know that bringing up her children sincerely would benefit her first and foremost and then benefit her country, and that this is an incomparable sacrifice?
 
If we wish to see a righteous and beneficial generation that serves its Ummah, unites its entity and forces others to respect it, the mother of today who has neglected her main role must come back to her senses and to her true obligations. She has to dedicate what she learnt in her studies to serve and bring up her children. This will be reflected on her children’s production and the way they serve their country and their Ummah as a whole. We certainly need mothers to do this in order to rise and wake up from this deep slumber so as to realize the cultural and economic progress that we have missed, and bring the Ummah back to its previously glorious status.

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