Question

Assalam alaikoum. My question covers family relationships. I have a sister in law that is neurotically self centered. One time I was telling her "None of you has faith unless he loves for his brother what he loves for himself". She responded this is tough because I would want my children to be better than yours. Knowing I am single and she was then pregnant and married to a very successful physician. she also went to hajj as soon as she got married to my brother and seems to have a very strong and going life for her. I am at a loss. She and her family had occasions before her marriage being very rude and my brother is usually unreasonable if anyone says anything about her. I ask because I find my self in a very difficult situation. How do I deal with some who said this to me to be at m best and not infuriated. I was shocked and quieted but must admit feel we should all hope everyone is good to be in a better society. What practically would you advice me to do to deal with those people and particularly about what she said to me. Jazak Allah Khairan.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is very normal for a person to wish that his children be better than other children, this is a natural instinct. So, it is permissible for you to ask Allah to bless you with a pious husband and with children who will be better than hers, and this is not being egoistic on your part exactly as it is not egoism on her part. Also, this does not necessarily mean that she does not wish good for your children or for others' children.

It seems that you took the matter sensitively to an unbearable extent, and it might be that there is a kind of jealousy that leads to this rivalry. Therefore, everybody must fear Allah and be preoccupied by what benefits him/her in this life and in the Hereafter.

First of all, we advise you particularly to take it easy and not think about what she said to you, rather turn to Allah, the All-Knower, and ask Him to bless you with His Bounties. Allah Says (what means) : {And ask Allah of His bounty. Indeed Allah is ever, of all things, Knowing.} [Quran 4:32]

As regards your brother, he should be wise; he should prevent the injustice of the wrongdoer, and protect the wronged person from injustice and he should not favor one party at the expense of the other.

Allah Knows best.